Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
He will go in by himself, but I confess to putting him in this time against his will. That's why the dark look. Spouse had tried, but all that effort succeeded in doing was convincing Firestar there had to be a good reason NOT to go in. So I tried. I stayed by the door and assured him it was just a photo session and he could leave as soon as we were finished.
He stayed - just to prove he wasn't being manipulated - even after I got my pictures.
Do any of you other cats have houses like this? Send pictures to FirestarTheCat@gmail.com. I haven't been good about checking that email, but then no one's ever sent a message. I'll try to check it daily.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
In keeping with the Cat Philosophy of "never exert yourself - unless there's food involved", I've taken an easy approach on daily postings: videos others created or, let Bevie do it. purrrrrr
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The Bombo Wallofrogs arrived late in the morning with two busloads filled with bowls of orange tadpoles.
The Weefermegs were there to greet them with all appropriate song and verse, as well as a banquet of fresh Kellilags served over rice pudding.
After the banquet we went swimming at the fru fru pond and Captain Shamizka surprised us all with a rendition of Howard Goofel’s, One Time on the Island of Lupahs.
We played burble ball and horkey nets and generally continued on in amusement until evening fell and we all went to our giflefans.
I hope tomorrow is as fun. We’re supposed to go cheepahsanning in the morning and hike the trails under Themo Morpha after lunch.
Wish you were here.
From The Tales of Whimsy, by Bevie James.
Monday, January 26, 2009
ROCK 'N' ROLL CAT
Yes, yes. Give me that Good ol' Rock 'n' Roll every time.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
But that is not the real purpose of this post.
Announcing the arrival of - Caitlin!
Caitlin arrives with her slave/peon/property, BuffySquirrel. There's a very nice picture of her at BuffySquirrel's blog. Looks like we have a reader in our Clowder/Clutter.
Any of you have a preference on what we should call ourselves?
Clowder? Clutter? Pride? Something better?
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Here are a few excerpts.
Why Do We Need Humans?
Our greatest philosophers have struggled with this question for centuries, but the answer is actually rather simple: THEY HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS - Which makes them the perfect tools for such tasks as opening doors, getting the lids off of cat food cans, changing television stations and other activities that we, despite our other obvious advantages, find difficult to do ourselves.
How And When to Get Your Human's Attention
Sitting on paper: An oldie but a goodie. If a human has paper in front of it, chances are good it's something they assume is more important than you. They will often offer you a snack to lure you away. Establish your supremacy over this wood pulp product at every opportunity. This practice also works well with computer keyboards, remote controls, car keys and small children.
Punishing Your Human Being
Sometimes, despite your best training efforts, you may have to punish your human.
we offer these subtle but nonetheless effective alternatives:
- Use the cat box during an important formal dinner.
- Stare impassively at your human while it is attempting a romantic interlude.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
We will begin alphabetically, which means the first cat breed is:
(picture taken from site)
The Abyssinian is one of the oldest known breeds of pedigree cat. It is believed to be descended from a cat called Zula, brought to England by Captain Barrett Leonard at the conclusion of the Abyssinian war in 1868. There are no verifiable, written records tracing early Abyssinians to Zula, but Abyssinians were exhibited at Crystal Palace in 1871 so it is certain that all Abyssinians are descended from cats bred in the United Kingdom. Recent genetic studies indicate that today's Abyssinian may have descended from a breed found in Southeast Asia and the coast of the Indian Ocean. Abyssinians do resemble the African wildcat (Felis silvestris lybica) - the progenitor of all domestic cats.
The Abyssinian is a ticked or agouti breed. The distinctive coat appearance comes from the combination of colors on each hair shaft. Abyssinians are medium in size, lithe and muscular. Abyssinians come in several colours. Usually, sorrel, fawn and blue are the most widely accepted colours in the UK, while the American colour terms are ruddy, red, fawn and blue. In Australia, the popular colours are tawny, cinnamon, blue and fawn. The Abyssinian's eyes are oval shaped usually green, hazel or gold and eye lined.
Abyssinian cats have lively personalities showing interest in all activities around them. Temperamentally they are well balanced. They enjoy the company of human beings and are very intelligent, affectionate and loyal.
Abyssinians are prone to gingivitis and tooth decay. They are also susceptible to amyloidosis - a renal disease thought to be hereditary.
Personally, I think it looks like a Puma, only much smaller. A British cat, huh? Rufus, have you met any of these?
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Ailurophilia is the "love of cats."
. . . All decent humans have it.
A cat will amost never "meow" at another cat. This sound is reserved for humans.
. . . That's because one cat can never fool another. Humans are easy.
If your cat is 3, your cat is 21 in human years. If your cat is 8, your cat is 40 in humans years. If your cat is 14, your cat is 70 in human years.
. . . Hey, I'm old enough to buy catnip!
People who own pets live longer, have less stress, and have fewer heart attacks
. . . Tell that to Bevie.
The greatest number of mice killed by one cat? 28,899!
. . . Show-off.
"Sociable" cats will follow you from room to room to monitor your activities throughout the day
. . . We're not being "sociable". We just don't trust humans.
Cats get their sense of security from your voice. Talk to your cats! And be mindful of your tone of voice. Cats know when you're yelling at them (though they may not care)
. . . Of course we care. What's the point of being annoying if the human doesn't get annoyed?
Humans think they are so clever.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Firestar likes this toy. He used to fetch it for my son, before he decided that game was for kitties. He still carries it around. I tried to get a picture, but he saw me and dropped it. I guess he feels silly being seen playing with a dog toy.
However, and this is absutely true, he actually plays war games with it. I have caught him at it at least twice.
I would be awakened by the sound of distressed cat meows and hurry to find out what it was. What I found was Firestar, wrapped around this toy, rolling across the floor and biting it ferociously. Then, realizing he was being watched, he would stop, sit up and look at me as if to say, "What?"
He was doing it last night, but I didn't get up to watch.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Here are the ten questions they think they answered, and the ten real answers to those questions.
1. Why do cats knead humans with their paws?
According to the site, it's because we like humans. But they left out the two important words. We knead humans because we like to kill humans. Simple explanations are always best.
2. Why do cats dunk their toys in the food and/or water bowls?
According to the site, its because we're trying to protect our toys. The real answer is we do it because it's annoying to humans.
3. Why do cats chatter at birds outside or on television?
According to the site, it's because we're frustrated. Before I give you the real answer, let me make one thing clear: Cats.Don't.Chatter. Now, to the explanation. It's the same as when humans talk to their car, television, telephone or any other contraption. No big deal.
4. Why do cats attack my feet (human asking question) when I walk by?
According to the site, it's because we're playing. The real answer is because the jugular is too high to bother with.
5. Why do cats like to drink water from a running faucet?
According to the site, it's because we like the taste and the motion. The real answer is because you can't drink water from a tap which is shut off! Duh!
6. Why do cats go crazy at night?
According to the site, it's because we sleep during the day and are active at night. Well, I've got news for them. We sleep during the night, too. However, we learn to be most active in direct proportion to the amount of annoyance we can cause with our activity. People who work during the night find their cats go crazy during the daytime. purrrrrr
7. Why do cats knock things over?
According to the site, it's not because we're clumsy. We just want to get human attention - or we think it's funny. Okay. I'll give them the "we think it's funny" bit. One out of seven.
8. Why do cats rub their heads on our legs and shoes?
According to the site, it's because we're "marking" the human as our own. The real answer is we only do it when humans don't want us to, therefore making it an annoying act.
9. Why do cats suddenly hiss and bite when being petted?
According to the site, it's because we're letting the human know the petting session is over. The real answer is we do it because biting humans is funny. It's especially funny when they don't see any reason for it. Keep 'em guessing. That's what we do.
10. Why do cats scratch on glass windows?
According to the site, it's because we're testing the glass to see if we can get through it. What rubbish! Of course we know we can't get through it. We touch the glass because it's just been cleaned. We've even been known to lick the glass in order to get it wet enough to attach our loose hairs as we rub on by. People, people, people. Learn about cats!
They really don't know us, do they?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
This is Bevie's favorite toy. Calls it Tomoko. Rrrooowwwwlllll!
Bevie is so silly. Just doesn't realize that a stuffed monkey is no compensation for a real cat.
Poor Bevie. Silly little Bevie.
Friday, January 16, 2009
What fun is this? The whole point of a door is to have it closed so we can yowl about getting to the other side. Then our slave/peon has to get up from whatever useless thing they've occupied themselves with and attend to our needs. This just takes that away. I don't understand the point.
Well, there was no input on the Kitten of the Month, so I guess it's assigned months. I get to go first. Bevie finally finished using up the roll of film and now must get it developed. Hopefully, there are no thumbs in the way and at least one of my adorable poses was captured correctly. We'll see.
Rufus, this means you are the February Kitten of the Month. Have your slave write up something short and cute for you. Oh, and we need a picture. She can either post one on her blog (so Bevie can copy it and then post it here), or she can email it. If there is a better way, have her contact Bevie and provide the details.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Why do humans insist on trying to make us cats look silly?
How much do you wanna bet that this poor cat's peon/slave fed her/him something truly awful to get this picture?
Kind of looks like the cat picture Bevie uses. Bevie gets sick a lot, too. Maybe this is Bevie!
NOTE: Picture downloaded from free cat pictures website, here.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I don't want to choose between cats. All cats are cool! How does one choose?
So, in keeping with the human "scardey cat" image, I'm thinking we do this the absolute easy (and gutless) way: We pick in the order the cats arrive in the alley.
This means winning cats (and their property) will know ahead of time which month is their month. What will be needed is a picture and a short caption of 50-words or less. Those can be submitted as a post to this blog, a link back to your blog, and/or an Email to Firestar: (firstname.lastname@example.org).
If this is what we choose to do (I will need imput from the rest of you by the end of the week), then this will be the order. Submissions would need to be ready by the 10th of the month.
Rufus, Geoff, Mikey, Aliera, Sethra, (and the associated slaves/peons): What do you think?
OR, We could let the current five cats in the Alley pick their month. (Submit three choices, ties will be determined by a random number generated by MS-Excel.)
NOTE: Rufus, you need to get Bonnie (?) to officially become a member.
July:......to be determined
August:....to be determined
September:.to be determined
October:...to be determined
November:..to be determined
December:..to be determined
Monday, January 12, 2009
Oh, Bevie, Bevie, Bevie, Bevie. Poor Bevie. That's not what being a Snowshoe Cat means.
Mikey. Aliera. Your humans took the test. They were Norwegian Forest Cats. Do they go out and play in the trees? What about you, Rufus? Does your slave act weird? Humans.
Fortuantely, Bevie didn't stay out long. But it was so pitiful to watch. Humans don't know how to play. No pouncing. No swatting. Just tossing snow with a large scoop. Foolish.
It's snowing here. Started a couple of hours ago. I've been amusing myself sitting by the window and staring. So relaxing. Wish I could get out whenever I wanted (which is whenever I'm inside), and then come back in when I was ready to (which would be whenever I was outside). What a pity Bevie had to go and buy a new computer (several years ago now). The old one talked to the camera. This one doesn't. If it did, I'd get you some pictures.
Actually, what us cats like aren't still pictures. We like things that move. Maybe Bevie will let me borrow the movie camera? If so, I'll see about making another post.
Meanwhile, yaaaawwwwn, this has been strenuous. I think I'll have a quick lay down.
Catch you cats later. purrrrrrrr
Sunday, January 11, 2009
I had Bevie take the test. Turns out Bevie is a Snowshoe.
The Snowshoe is gregarious and talkative. She is always ready for fun and will regularly try to instigate a game. While her strong intellect leads her to try new things, it also causes her to become easily bored when a task is mastered. Variety is truly the spice of life for this kitty! Affectionate with others, eager to interact, the Snowshoe is always the �belle of the ball�.
Not sure if I prefer Bevie as white or buff orange. It's the mask that does it, though. Rooowwwwl.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Rufus told me about Geoff, and how hot she is. His slave (peon is my name for 'em) provided contact information and Bevie set out to find her. Well, she posted back yesterday (way to go, Bevie, you did something right for a change - now pick me some catnip and rub my feet) and confirmed her hot status. I suggested she might submit herself to be Kitten of the Month.
The more I think of it, the more I like the idea. So how's about we do that? Here are the options I've come up with. Tell me what you think.
Kitten of the Month:
1) Female cats only (kind of sexist, don't you think)
2) Female or Male cats (I lean toward this one because I'm a sexy, rough and tough cat)
3) Female and Male cats (one for each - would this diminish the crown?)
Submissions could be made either by emailing them to me (email@example.com), or by posting a picture on your blog and submitting the LINK. Some sort of bio should accompany the picture. What would make a good maximum words: 100-, 200-, 300-?
Currently, only three ( 3 ) cats have walked this alley: Myself, Rufus and Geoff. That means we should all have a vote for the January winner (assuming you cats want to do this).
You cats have any thoughts?
Friday, January 9, 2009
I went to FairyHedgeHog's blog like you asked to search for a picture of Geoff, the hot feline you're so on fire about. And do you know what I found? A link to test your intentions, mate.
Now I'm watching you.
Oh, and by the way. I did not find a picture of Geoff.
Yeah, these are all "old". At least a year. But that's all Bevie and the Spouse could find for now. I've let them know they'd better take some new photos. I just heard from Rufus about a hot feline named Geoff. How am I to fan fair felid's fevered flames with kitten pictures?
Anyway, that top on the left is from one of my earliest photo sessions. That's the back of the rocking chair Bevie used to sit in to rock the boy to sleep when he was a baby. Long before my time (thank goodness). I used to sit up there all the time. Then Bevie must have done something to the chair. Now when I jump up there the chair falls over backward. That Bevie!
The one on the top right is cute. That's just me chillin' out. See the bite marks on the wrist by my belly? I did that. Growl. Hiss. I'm a tough guy.
Regarding this last, on the bottom. Hey, what can I say? I was thirsty, and the faucet dripped (Bevie did something to that, too, and now I can't drink from there anymore). At least it wasn't a toilet. A cat would never do that. (would they?)
“She’s got tuna. I know she’s got tuna.”
“Shut up, Sethra. Stay on mission.”
“What’s the mission? I thought the mission was to get tuna.”
“No, you stupid fluffbrain—it’s to escape and become outdoor cats, walking by ourselves, on our wild lone, waving our tails.”
“Oh, yeah? And isn’t it you, my dear stripy sister Aliera, who keeps pushing the FEED button on the printer and waiting for tuna to come out?”
“That was when I was much younger. Anyway, she’s at the computer—yes, eating tuna casserole—so we can go into the bedroom and see if we can knock the window screen out.”
“You do it, Aliera. I’d rather mess with her stuff.”
“Will you GET OVER that fixation on her wristwatch?”
“I like the feel of the Velcro on my paws. Hey! That reminds me. We’ve been declawed. How are we going to survive as outdoor cats?”
“New plan coming up….”
“What’s the big deal about being outside cats? Even StalkerCat, who used to hang around and chat us up, is a house cat now and loving it. We’ve got it made—food, petting, toys, valet service for the litter box, and we get to sleep on her bed twenty hours a day. And we can stick our noses up to the window and smell anything interesting going on outside. Why ruin a perfect situation?”
“Sethra, have you no sense of adventure? No curiosity? No cattitude? We were meant to live wild and free, to stalk and slay our prey, to be mistresses of the night!”
“Look, we’re cats. We were meant to rule the world, but that doesn’t mean we have to WORK at it. You can if you want, but I don’t need to. After all, I’M beautiful!
“Did I mention she’s got tuna?”
What? Green teeth attract mice!