True Friends

Looks like I'm flavor of the month again. Firestar has been keeping close today. Not all day, but for the past couple of hours anyway. I was out at the desktop computer and he came to sleep in the chair next to me. I got up to come to the bedroom while Son was (is) doing his music. Firestar came and lay down on the floor at my feet.

It's difficult to explain fully, but to others who live with animals there is no need to explain at all. Having cats, dogs, birds, or whatever find one likeable is a wonderful feeling. It is probably one of the truest forms of friendship there is. When an animal accepts us, we know without question that it is accepting us for who we are and not because of any gain it gets. After all, they are not always friends with those who give them food.
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In Memoriam - Beloved Cats of the Past

I've been feeling guilty and bad about not having included Baby Boy in this. He is no less distinguishable than any, but at the same time I did not want to have memorandum posts every day. Then there was always something else to post, or I wasn't ready to put up something more sobering. But I think this is a nice place to put Baby Boy's memorandum.

Baby Boy was another of my choices. Like B.J.Honeycat, who came before, Baby Boy was in mortal danger. But not from starvation or other, more aggressive cats. Baby Boy was in danger because he would never, ever SHUT UP! And that was driving my boss crazy. (Actually, my boss was a bit of a pussy cat himself and would never have harmed Baby Boy. He just liked to talk big.)

This would have been back in the summer of '87, when I worked for a small town newspaper as reporter, photographer, editor, proofreader, layout editor, paper stuffer, and paper delivery person. All for $10,400 a year. Before taxes. For that I worked seventy to eighty hours each week. It worked out to a little more than $3.00 per hour when minimum wage was about $5.00 per hour. Ah, well. I digress.

Baby was just a kitten. His name was Socks then, because of his white feet. Larry, my boss, came into work one day haggered and sleepy. He had been up most of the night trying to catch Socks and put him outside. But while the kitten was big on crying for attention, he refused to allow himself to be caught, and he was small enough to get into places Larry couldn't go. Larry asked if anyone wanted a cat because he was ready to threat, threat, threat, threat, threat. Wanda, the office manager, dared him to do it and Larry sheepishly conceded he wouldn't. But he did want to find a home for Socks. I thought BJ might be lonely, with me now putting in so much time at the newspaper, and Spouse working three jobs to earn another $10,000 a year. So I volunteered.

I remember at first being worried about our new addition. BJ seemed to just hate him. But then I caught the two of them together when BJ thought no one was around. They were playing together and having a ball! Until BJ saw me. Then he belted Baby Boy (he got the name because he NEVER shut up) across the room.

Baby was the active cat. He was the one who jumped into the upstairs window, knocking out the support and having the window collapse on his back leg. Wound up in a four-week cast for that.

He was the one who figured out that when the new human baby arrived, he could get all kinds of loving attention by just being around. Eventually, this would cause him to bond with Son, and the two became good buddies.

Baby was a camera hog, too. Take out a camera and start filming or snapping pictures, and within a couple of minutes Baby Boy would be there, standing next to whatever you were trying to film.

In his last years he was the lone animal. Nikki was gone. BJ was gone. Even Lady was gone. It was just him in the house, until I lost my job. Then I would sit downstairs at my desk in the wee hours of the morning. Baby Boy would come down the steps, stop at the bottom, wait until I looked at him, and then cry out to me. I would lower my hand and snap my fingers and he would hurry over to get his back scratched. We did that every day. Several times.

I can still remember hearing the thumping above my head. The computer was set up in the basement then. Twice before in his life, Baby Boy had managed to get himself caught in a cloth through his mischiveous playing. His flopping would make the noose he had got himself into tighter and tigher. Once was with a torn chair cover, and once was with one of my t-shirts. Hearing the thumping, I suspected he had repeated his youthful behavior in his old age and had got caught again.

He was in the dining room, but not caught in anything. He had had a stroke. A bad one. Just the year before we had spent nearly $1,000 we didn't have to save his life. The vet told us he might not last another year, but we spent the money anyway. This time I could see he was much worse off. I immediately got on the telephone and called the vet. Then I raced Baby to the only place where he could be helped. But this time it there would be no miracle. Spouse left work and I took Son out of school. The vet clinic tended Baby while we raced to get there for his final time. It was - emotional.

Sometimes, after suffering such grief, we tell ourselves we will never fall in love again. We will never get another cat, or dog, or horse, or turtle, or spider, or whatever. We're so silly. Not only do we fall in love with these creatures who are so different (and somehow alike) to us, but we do it over and over and over again. When Spouse brought Firestar home I refused to even look at him. Spouse began to cry. Then, I turned my head and found myself nose-to-nose with this buff little kitten. Once again I was hooked. We can't close our eyes forever.

Current loves do not replace past loves. They just fill the void left from those who have gone on. And it almost seems like current loves mean more than the past. After all, they're here, aren't they? Let us enjoy them while we can.

NOTE: The picture at the top is one of my favorite Baby Boy pictures. There are other good ones, showing him in his profile, but I thought it appropriate to show him with his buddy. Amazingly, Son NEVER pulled his hair, so Baby Boy was quite safe under his hands.

How Dare They

Okay, my property has returned. Finally!

I knew something was up. They were all acting strange. (I mean, strange, even for them.) I tried to keep a keen eye on them, but they managed to give me the slip. My real clue was when they brought in other humans and showed them my food, water, and litter box.

They got up earlier than normal. Then they brought a bunch of things out of the house. Then they came in, gave me good pets, and left. I expected Bevie and Spouse to return right off. They didn't. I waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing. Finally, someone came through the front door. That was suspicious. They hardly ever use that door. But it wasn't Bevie, Spouse, or Son. It was the humans who had been here before. They were okay. They gave me food and water. The little one even raved over me and gave me gentle pets. Then they left. I was alone!

Yes, Bevie had turned on the radio. Like that was going to make me believe I had people in the house. I figured they would be home late, like that time a few weeks ago. But they didn't show up at all! They spent the night away. In the morning it was the same strange humans again. I waited all day. Nothing. In the evening, the strange humans again! And Bevie and company didn't come home again. Same thing in the morning. This time, I was in no mood for play. So when the little human wanted to play, I punched him. No claws. But they got the message and left.

Finally, late in the morning, I hear the garage door opening. The only time I hear that is when Bevie or Spouse is leaving - or arriving. They were home!

I went to the door leading to the garage and waited. Sure enough, it opened, and there was Son staring me in the face. Bevie was behind him. Finally, they had saw fit to come home. The prodigal people. Well, I turned my back and slowly walked away. Of course, Son had to catch me and hold me. Like I wanted that. But I went along with it - for awhile. I'm sure they were very stressed about being away from home so long. So I spent the first while making sure they were all right. Oh, except Spouse. It was my understanding this entire thing was Spouse's idea. So I punched Spouse in the face. No claws. Then, when Son and Spouse went upstairs to watch a show, I knew they were okay. So I punished them.

I went up and sat with my back to them. And when they tried to make up, I played feisty. They got the message. So I went downstairs. Sure enough, Bevie was at the computer. So I plopped down in plain sight and scowled. Bevie saw me, too. Even acknowleged the rightness of my actions. But I could tell Bevie was still stressed, so I gave in early and worked on comfort. It isn't always about punishment, you know. You have to take care of your property. So when Bevie went upstairs and lay down, I lay down, too. Just for a bit. To make sure Bevie was all right. I certainly didn't need the comfort.

I got my final revenge when they all went to bed. I sat outside the bedroom doors and howled. Did that for about an hour. Then I came and lay on the bed. But later, I did it again. Would have done it all night, but I need to get my rest, you know.

Hopefully, they have learned their lesson this time.

People! They just don't know how to behave.
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Hey, I Can Write, Too

Why is it that humans think they are so special? They do something silly and useless, and suddenly they think they have value. When are they going to learn that their value is entirely dependent on how we happen to view them at any given moment in time?

Take today. I had to punish Spouse and Son this afternoon. They were in the study going through some of Son's things, putting them into boxes. Now Son probably has the best things of the three of them, although I like watching Bevie in front of the kumputer thing. All of that movement. Can't catch anything, though. I've tried.

Anyway, I figured this was a good opportunity to explore the room and play with some of those cheweable things. Normally, I can't get in there. Well, I'm hardly in there any time at all and Son whacks me on the head. And Spouse blames me! Son claimed it was an accident, but humans are not allowed. Well, there was only one response. I had to walk to the door and sit with my back to them. Bevie saw me. Asked me what was up. Upon Son's confession, Bevie congratulated me on my firm paw and walked away. Bevie knew better than to interfere in a disciplinary action.

But humans are so silly. Bevie writes and thinks that's some kind of a big deal. Well, meow, meow, meow. I can write, too. And to prove it, here is a poem I wrote just today. I call it, Why Did God Make People?

Why Did God Make People
by Firestar

So why did God make people?

It’s my understanding he made them last.

That means he made them after cats.

But from a different mold he cast.

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People aren’t like house cats.

They aren’t like wild cats, too.

In fact, they aren’t like anything.

Except, perhaps, baboons.

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They’re noisy and they’re smelly.

And they can’t catch things like mice.

They aren’t much good at anything.

‘Cept feeding, which is nice.

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I keep three humans here with me.

I try to keep them trained.

But training humans is a full-time job.

My patience oft is strained.

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But their bodies do have warmth.

And their hands can be so tender.

So laying on their laps,

Is the way to spend a winter.

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So, take that, Bevie! Mrrrooowwwllll

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In Memoriam - Beloved Cats of the Past

A few days ago I posted an In Memoriam. One of the comments came from Lisa, who had lost her own precious kitty, and I offered to include him here. Lisa graciously consented.



This is from her post on her own blog. If you haven't visited it, you may wish to as she also has a short video clip at the end which I was not able to embed here.



Darlin' Leibchen (Leiby kitty)


Leibchen, Originally named Darlin' Leibchen then I realized they really meant the same so he mostly went by Leibchen - or Leiby kitty.


He was nicknamed purr baby because he would start purring as soon as my husband or I would touch him.Leiby was really cute with hubby. Hubby would lay long wise on the couch on his side, and Leiby would come, meow, for Hubby to make room for him and would lay down beside him.


Leibchen died while I was away, the day I left for my trip he didn't eat his meal - and he declined quickly afterwards. I was heart broken feeling that I should have been with him. I tried to convince myself he was a cat so I should, at the very least, go out and enjoy the sites, but to no avail, I was too upset, and ended up staying in the hotel milking my sorrow between exersize and wine.


I wrote the following poem to express my sorrow and loss. And I learned, if ever my kitties are ill, and I'm traveling - STAY HOME.


He died August 8, 2005 - I was in Brussels, Belgium


One Last Time
by Lisa Izzie
Copyright 2007. Written: August 15, 2005


I only want to hold him,
One last time,
On his final breath,
That moment should be mine.


I want to hold his paw,
And stroke his little head,
Oh my darling Leiby kitty,
How dare you now be dead.


Thousands miles away I was,
In your final days.
I wasn't there to hold you,
Why die when I'm away?


I could not rush to your side,
I could I only call,
Now my Darlin' Leibchen
I can hold you - not at all.


Although I knew your time was near,
Why die while I am gone?
It wasn't me by your side,
Is what I find so wrong.


Small comfort that I called in time,
The last voice you heard was mine.
I only want to hold you,
One last time.


In my hearts an emptiness
of guilt and deep sorrow,
That on the day of my voyage,
Began the end of your tomorrow.


How I wish I'd stayed behind,
to be beside my friend,
so that I could hold you,
One last time.


So that it was me,
me by your side,
the last touch you felt,
and the last kiss was mine.


I only want to hold you, Leiby one last time.

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In Memoriam - Beloved Cats of the Past

I wanted to wait an appropriate amount of time before entering B.J. Honeycat into the Memorial, which is the list of beloved cats who are no longer with us.

B. J. Honeycat

BJ was a cool cat. I wanted him to be mine, but he really became Spouse's. Unless he was feeling poorly. Then he came to me.

His life began poorly. First he was with a family of four, but the little boy turned out to be allergic to cat dandruff, so he went to my brother and sister-in-law. They had a hobby farm. In fact, that was where Spouse and I boarded our horses. It wasn't working out well. The other cats picked on BJ, and as a result BJ was in a constant state of terror.

I can still remember the day I walked into their kitchen from outside. Spouse's brother was preparing himself some kind of snack. He opened a cupboard door (it was an old house and the cupboards were up high). There, hiding on a shelf, was BJ. The brother cried out in anger, grabbed BJ by his scruff, and threw him down to the floor. BJ splayed out flat and then raced back up into the cupboard. Brother repeated his act and BJ repeated his. Up to this point I was too shocked to move. But when BJ hit the floor the third time I quickly bent down and grabbed him. I carried him to a closet which ran under the stairwell and set him down in the dark. Then I left and drove home right off.

Spouse was there. I explained what had just taken place. We went to our landlord (we were renting half a house) and he agreed we could have a cat - providing we gave him extra security deposit. We wrote a check out right then. Then we both returned to the hobby farm where we suggested we could take BJ. It was agreed, and we took him and came home.

I remember I was holding him as we entered our place. BJ was shivering. Moved again. We weren't in the house more than a minute and BJ began to purr. I knew why. There was no scent of other cats. The apartment was small. Just a living room with a tiny, tiny kitchen attached, and a door to a bedroom with a tiny bathroom attached. The in-laws sent us home with a litter box and some food and we showed BJ where those would be. Then I let him wander. He wouldn't stop purring.

He went from a thing of skin and bones to a hearty animal. In fact, he actually got a bit big. He topped out at sixteen pounds. I know cats get heavier, but that was plenty heavy for him.

When we got Baby Boy he pretended to hate him. But when he thought we weren't looking he would actually play with the kitten. Then he'd see us and whop the little cat and stalk away. Eventually they became good buddies.

BJ always remained shy. Should company stop by he would hide. Even when Son was born BJ didn't come around much. He became annoyed that we didn't give him the attention we once had. Baby Boy had figured out how to get around that. He learned that wherever the baby was, if he was nearby, he would get affection. BJ never figured that out.

The day came when we noticed the litter box was always wet. Always. We brought both cats to the vet. BJ was the cause. He had diabetes. We weren't exactly poor then, but money was tight. And to treat BJ was going to cost a lot of money. More than we could afford every month. So the decision was made to put him down. He was Spouse's cat, but he sat with me that day. He always sat with me when he wasn't feeling well. I cried and told him what we had decided to do. He looked at me and rubbed his face against mine. Then he purred. That was my last moment with B.J. Honeycat.

NOTE: You know, I wrote that BJ never figured out about the baby. And yet look at the first picture. That is Son laying beside BJ. But I think BJ didn't know we were watching. BJ didn't want to let on that he liked anything.

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In Memoriam - Beloved Cats of the Past

Almost from the beginning of Cat in the Buff I was thinking there should be a section to acknowledge cats who are no longer with us. My reasons were selfish, of course. I wanted to acknowledge B.J. Honeycat and Baby Boy, two of my favorite cats. I didn't do it because it's kind of a downer, and I wasn't sure how visitors would respond.

Then, Talpianna sent me an email with a picture of Lilith, which included a poem she wrote. I expect more than some of us have had cat friends who are gone now. If you are like Talpianna (and me), you don't want those felines to be forgotten.

My intention was to make B.J. Honeycat the first. But I don't think it is any slam on his memory if I instead make Lilith the first cat to be honored. BJ was always a gentleman. I'm sure he would have no problem in letting a lady go first.

Lilith

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Lilith’s Song

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She walks in Her garden at break of day;

Small paws follow and will not stay—

“Lady Bastet, my Goddess and Queen,

Let me go back where I have been!

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“A voice is speaking a broken prayer;

A heart is breaking, for I’m not there;

Someone who loves me is all alone;

Lady Bastet, I want to go home!”

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She basks, slit-eyed, in the morning sun,

But a kitten’s plea is not yet done:

“Lady Bastet, please let me go;

She’s crying still—she loves me so!

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“Your gardens are rich in beauty and grace,

With cream to lap and mice to chase,

But still I long for the love I lack;

Lady Bastet, let me go back!”

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She rests in the shade at the height of noon;

A small voice whispers, “I must go soon!

feel her sorrow and grief like a knife—

Let me be with her in my next life!

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“Goddess, our time was not so long

As a bird in Your garden’s morning song,

But time enough for love to grow—

Goddess, dear Goddess, please let me go!”

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The stars in Her garden are candles lit.

She gently caresses the grieving kit.

“Brighter than stars doth a true heart burn:

Lilith, I grant you your wish—Return!”

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The stars look down in their vast array

As a small cat trots through the Milky Way,

Her pale fur gleams with reflected light

As she picks her way through the cosmic night.

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Down to a planet of green and blue—

The only home that she ever knew—

To leap into arms that have ached for her,

To cuddle, be hugged and kissed, and purr.

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8/21/03

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I do not know what God's plan is for animals in eternity. I'm not sure he's ever told us. But sometimes I wonder about those we call pets. When I used to sometimes look in BJ or Baby Boy's eyes I would find myself wondering: Are you an angel in feline form placed in my care in order for me to prove my worth? If so, then they will be with us in heaven.

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I don't know. I only know that it is very easy to fall in love with a cat.

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Cat Nap

Meow.

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