You Gotta Get Up in the Morning

It's a heck of a morning. I'm sure Spouse and Son think so. You see, Firestar, our self-appointed alarm clock, has been of the mind that it is time for EVERYONE to be awake and active. Not just he and me. So for the past two hours he has been patrolling the hall outside the bedroom doors - and inside the master bedroom - calling revelry.

Not so loud as a bugle, but just as annoying. Even to me sitting at the desk wide awake. Well, awake.

Cats don't use a clock to tell time. It seems they use sunlight. And with the sun rising earlier and earlier each day his wake up call is coming earlier and earlier.

I'm not keen on moving clocks forward and backward, but I expect Spouse and Son can't wait for the clocks to jump ahead. So it's dark again at 6 a.m..

Some days I can pick Firestar up, rub his head with my chin, set him on the rocking chair, and watch him go back to sleep. Not this morning. He's up and about.

Most annoying. And I'm not even trying to sleep.

Must Have Been the Aftertaste

Hmm. Yesterday I posted how Firestar and I are buddies. I think he must have read the blog because I haven't seen him all morning. At least four hours.

So much for the flavor of the month.
.

Cats

The cat would walk around the house and meow at this or that

It rubbed its head on legs and chairs, because it was a cat

The cat would jump on window sills and stare out at the birds

And when a human called its name, it feigned it had not heard

At times the cat would sit on laps, and purr loudly half asleep

Other times the cat restlessly, about the house did leap

Aloof, alone, the cat did roam, and own the house it walked

And the looks it gave when spoken of, showed it knew of human talk

The cat comes not at request of others, for that it does ignore

Obeying others is not its way, what an unpleasant chore

But be interested in something else, and soon the cat is there

Demanding your attention, to show it that you care

Some do not care for cats at all, they hate the cat’s strong will

They do not comprehend the fact, that cats and love us still

We need not cat’s compliance, nor need them to obey

They need not come because we ask, nor remain when we say “stay”

A cat need not be else but what a cat can only be

A creature loving as ourselves, who just needs to be free

And so when a cat will come to me, because it wants my touch

That a cat should want my touch, you see, means to me oh so much

Just What Do Cats Need Anyway

All right. It's been a long time since I've posted. I'd say "I'm sorry," but I'm a cat. We don't do that. Others do it to us.

Anyway, was walking some of the cyber streets and found several places where humans wrote what they believe cats need. Humans are such fools. They've got the basics down, sure. But they don't know how to live. So, here is a short pictorial walk and talk on what cats really need. I call it, Ten Things Cats Really Need.

Something to stare at. (And then destroy.)

Plenty of Rest

Plenty of Fluids

Something to Play With

Human Companionship (or something close)

A place to lay down.

A place to explore.

A way to get down.

A place to hide.

A place to snuggle.

.

Chain Yanker

Firestar has been around three times already this morning. He had been down on the fourth level looking out the walkout door. Rabbits like to graze across our lawn just before dawn. Then, when the sun wakes up, various birds have their walkthrough.

But some mornings he will come quietly up the steps and over to where I sit in front of the computer. I learn he is there when he rubs against my legs. Other times he stands in the dining room, which is about three feet higher than the family room where I am, waiting for me to see him. Once I do he comes down the four steps so I can rub his back, beginning at the ears. I put one finger on either side of his head and slowly scratch backward toward his tail.

When he's feeling especially friendly, like this morning, he will put his front paws up on my hip. This is his signal for me to pick him up. I cuddle him up in my arms and he purrs while I lift him to my head. Then, cat-like, I rub my forehead against him. I try to communicate with him using the same methods he uses with me. Doesn't always work. I'm not that familiar with the language. But he shows little interest in learning mine.

Son has taken to doing some of the things, too. Spouse, on the other hand, does not. Spouse insists Firestar learn and understand our language. So when he gets in one of his aggressive moods, it becomes an endless barrage of, "No! Bad! Stop that! I said no!" It goes on ad nauseum. Spouse tells Firestar to knock it off, and he gives a right cross. Spouse tells Firestar he's bad and it's a left jab. Sometimes he bites.

I don't do that. I hiss. I can make him stop doing something without hardly moving a muscle. He can be on the other side of the house. If I see him doing something he's not supposed to do I just hiss and he stops. Sometimes, if he doesn't think he was violating any rule, he will meow at me. Other times (and this is so cute) he will half run away, meowing as he goes. The effect is a kind of vibrating meow which sounds absoulutely pitiful. This usually happens when he is interfering with a print job. He loves to play with the printer.

Firestar is amazing. He has the power to make me feel so loved and wanted. Then, just a few minutes later, he will show me equally how I am about the most useless piece of sh*t in the place. I couldn't get him to come near me if I opened a can of tuna. (I know. I've tried this.) And there doesn't appear to be much of a rhyme or reason for it. It's whatever his mood is.

He knows he has the power, and sometimes he just likes to use it. He's a chain yanker. That's what he is.
.

Some Basic Rules We're All Aware Of

Good morning, fellow Alley Cats. Have you got a house to run? Well, I found a web site with a few tips. Nothing really new. Just common sense stuff.

If you have to throw up, get into a chair or on the bed quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get on an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so that it is as long as the human's bare foot.

Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. If this does not work, reach under the door pulling it towards you. Should this fail, stand at the door and scream until one of your humans responds. Once the door is opened, it is not necessary to use it.

After you have ordered an outside door open, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold or very hot weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season. Swinging doors are to be avoided at all costs.

Quickly determine which guest has allergies or hates cats the most. Sit on that lap. If you can arrange to have "fish 'n Glop" on your breath, so much the better. For a guest who claims, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof and disdain.

Always accompany any guest to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything ... just sit and stare.......

If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering.

Following are the rules for hampering:

• When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.


• For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.


• For knitting projects or paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important part. Pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles.


• When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. They love to jump.

Any small item is a potential toy. If a human tries to confiscate it, this means that it is a Good Toy. Run with it under the bed. Look suitably outraged when the human grabs you and takes it away.

Always watch where it is put so you can steal it later.

As mentioned above, in order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of sleep. It is generally not difficult to find a comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good, especially if it contrasts with your fur color.

There's a lot more. I just took some of the high-lights.

Feel free to offer your own.
.

You Gotta Love Cats - Or Else

Just some more things I found about cats.

From this site.
.
Time spent with cats is never wasted. -- Colette
.
There are no ordinary cats. -- Colette
.
Although all cat games have their rules and rituals, these vary with the individual player. The cat, of course, never breaks a rule. If it does not follow precedent, that simply means it has created a new rule and it is up to you to learn it quickly if you want the game to continue. -- Sidney Denham
.
Charles Dickens What greater gift than the love of a cat?
.
Robert Heinlein How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven.
.
Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. -- Joseph Wood Krutch
.
I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat. -- Jay Leno
.
Adolf Hitler is known to have despised cats.

I think this last say a lot. I've met few people who truly dislike cats who don't make me uneasy to be around. I've met people who didn't think they liked cats. Then they got one and fell immediately in love with it.

Cats are such powerful creatures. They lure us with gentleness.


.

Time For Tidbits

From this site.

Of all families of predators the cat family is the one that varies most in size. Biggest of all is the tiger which may weigh several hundred kilos. The smallest of the small cats is the black-footed cat in South Africa which weighs only just over one kilo. There are many similarities between the two multi-specied genera. Both have retractable claws, all are stealth hunters, i.e. they approach their prey stealthily, and all except the cheetah are skilful climbers. All except the lion live alone.

The large cats can roar, but not the small cats.

Far to the north, the Norse goddess Freya, is portrayed as riding a chariot drawn by cats, and is always surrounded by cats. The Norse, being seafarers, revered shipboard cats for their rodent control abilities.

A 13th century Egyptian sultan left his entire fortune to the needy cats of Cairo. For many years afterward homeless cats received a free meal daily.

A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it. -- Jerome K. Jerome, English author

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. -- Joseph Wood Krutch
.

Another Round of Tidbits

From this website about cats.

Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another. -- Irving Townsend

Maybe the reason that so many people love the cat is that she is the only example that you can breathe in the presence of man without becoming his slave -- and maybe that is why, so many people hate her. -- Heinrich Saas

Cats are a mysterious folk. There is more passing in their minds than we are aware of. -- Sir Walter Scott

An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old. -- Carl Van Vechten

Confront a child, a puppy, and a kitten with a sudden danger; the child will turn instinctively for assistance, the puppy will grovel in abject submission, the kitten will brace its tiny body for a frantic resistance. -- Saki

Sir Isaac Newton, who first described the principle of gravity, also invented the swinging cat door for the convenience of his many cats.

Albert Schweitzer: There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

Gotta go with you on that, Albert.

.

Physics and Cats

Courtesy of Fairyhedgehog, here are some facts regarding cat physics. The information has been garnered from this site.

Here are just twelve of the laws. (And these have written in stone.)

Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of “Matter” plus “Anti-Matter” plus “It Doesn't Matter”.
.

More Tidbits

From this website about cats.

In the 9th century, King Henry I of Saxony decreed that the fine for killing a cat should be sixty bushels of corn.

.

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind. -- Cleveland Amory

.

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. -- Ellen Perry Berkeley

.

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. -- Mary Bly

.

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat. -- Mark Twain

.

If I called her she would pretend not to hear, but would come a few moments later when it could appear that she had thought of doing so first. -- Arthur Weigall

.

.

Some humans are actually quite wise. Amazing, isn't it?

.

Cat Tidbits

Found another website about cats. This one has a wealth of interesting bits of information.

Some examples:

Ancient mariners believed that a cat's behavior could foretell a change in the weather. Some sailors considered black cats unlucky since they were thought to bring bad weather. Tortoiseshell cats were often held by seafarers to be lucky and Japanese sailors in particular would carry a tri-colored cat aboard. They believed that such a cat could give early enough warning of an approaching storm for the vessel to return to port to avoid it, and would also send the cat up the mast to "put the storm devils to flight".




In the 1930's. The white male cat, named Napoleon, lived with his owner in Baltimore. His observant owner, Mrs. de Shields, noted that every time before it rained Napoleon would lie on the floor with his front paws extended and tuck his head between them. During Napoleon's lifetime there was a drought. The drought had continued for over a month when his owner noticed the clever cat adopt his "rain on the way" pose. According the official forecast the weather was to continue dry. Unconvinced, Mrs. De Shields telephoned a newspaper and told them that it was going to rain -- her cat had prophesied it. It did indeed rain, and thereafter Napoleon's forecasts were published in the paper. When he died, the tombstone over his grave was inscribed "Napoleon the Weather Prophet 1917 - 1936". It was said that in all the six years that he made his predictions he never got it wrong -- which is more than be said for human meteorologists!



They say the test of literary power is whether a man can write an inscription. I say, "Can he name a kitten?" -- Samuel Butler

More forthcoming, I'm sure.








.

Dispelling a Few Cat Myths

Thought I would pass on some myth-breakers today. I think we all probably know these, but on the chance it's new information, here goes:

(Oh, got the information from this site.)

If a cat urinates/defecates in the wrong spot (ie: on your favourite Persian rug), rub it's nose in it.

Not only is rubbing your cat's nose in it's urine/faeces cruel, it serves no constructive purpose. All this type of punishment will do is frighten your cat. A far more constructive method would be to try & find out why the cat has started eliminating outside it's litter tray. Sometimes, owners think they are teaching the cat a lesson by rubbing it's nose in it's urine/faeces & then placing the cat in it's litter tray. The cat will start to associate punishment with it's litter tray & avoid using it all the more. The first stop should be to your cat's vet to rule out a medical problem. If your cat gets a clean bill of health then you will have to try & work out what is preventing your cat from using it's tray. Some possible causes are...

The tray is too dirty, easily solved by cleaning the tray out more often.

Your cat was ambushed by another cat while in the tray.

Your cat doesn't like hooded trays, or alternatively, your cat doesn't like open boxes.

Your cat doesn't like the location of the litter tray. Common location problems are...the tray has been placed in a busy area. Cats like privacy when they're on the loo. Because cats are vulnerable when they are going to the toilet, they like to ensure they have an escape route, therefore some (but not all) cats will refuse to use a tray for this reason.

For further information on inappropriate elimination, please visit our Health Links page.

Cats can have cow's milk

While a lot of cats love to drink cow's milk, it's not recommended. Many cats are lactose intolerant & giving them milk will result in them getting an upset tummy. This is especially dangerous in kittens who can dehydrate quickly.

An adult cat doesn't need to drink milk at all. If you must give your cat milk, it is recommended you purchase special "cat's milk" which has been specifically formulated for cats to drink.

For further information on cats & milk read here...

My female cat should have one litter before she is spayed

Not at all, in fact it is better to have her spayed before 6 months of age to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Here is a very good article on why it is important to spay/neuter your cat. Spay & Neuter Q & A.

Cats always land on their feet

Do cats always land on their feet? Well...it depends, if the catfalls a very short distance from the ground it doesn't have enough time to right itself. A cat will be seriously injured & quite possibly killed if it falls from a great height. There is a new term coined by American veterinarians called "high rise syndrome". Due to the ever increasing human population, high rise apartments are becoming more the norm & vets are seeing many cats who have been injured falling out of high rise apartments.

Putting bells on a cat's collar will stop it catching mice & birds

This theory has been around for hundreds of years. I used to put bells on my cat's collars, in fact Eliot, who was my best hunter had three bells on her collar at one point & it did absolutely nothing to stop her catching the wildlife. In fact, there is new research to indicate that cats who have had bells put on their collars are better at catching prey. This is because they learn to move without the bell making a sound & therefore they are stealthier.

For further information on putting bells on cat's collars, read this article. Cats Indoors.

There were others. Some, I'm ashamed to say, I have been guilty of.
.

How to Stress a Cat: Move

Poor Firestar. All of the packing seems to be stressful for him. We're going through our things and separating that which we hope to keep from that which we are letting go. The result is a chaotic mess throughout the house, particularly in the living room and family room, which are two of his three favorite rooms (master bedroom being the third).

He's been having more "crazy days" than usual. These are the days when he can't sit still and takes off running at full tilt throughout the house. I took out a dozen boxes containing The Archives, and he couldn't explore them fast enough. All of the empty boxes become new caves into which he can hide.

That he's stressed is evident in that he's been more "bitey" than normal. He has no patience, even for gentle caresses across his back. He knows something's up, and he's concerned. Everyone's schedules are off. The routine is broken. He's really going to stress out, I think, when we're gone for three days and two nights. We're having a neighbor come in twice a day to make sure he has food and fresh water, but that is not a routine he has ever experienced before.

Cats aren't keen on changes. They just aren't.
.

How Old is Kitty

So I've been revisiting my writing Archive after several years of neglect and I have been discovering a wealth of cool things I have kept over the years. This one was photocopied from the Minneapolis Star Tribune paper back on June 13, 1996. It was in the Fixit column. Firestar's comments will be listed in RED.

A Guide to Figuring Out a Cat's Age in Human Terms
no byline

Q: Is there a way to figure my cat's age compared to human years? Is this important? Why not compute a human's age to a cat's? What about a dog? Definitely NOT important.

A: Veterinarian Terri Derr knows of no chart that compares a cat's age to a human's. But such charts are published for dogs. Oh, talk about discrimination!

Derr said kittens generally mature more quickly than puppies That makes sense, and a cat's adulthood and middle age are longer than a dog's Sounds good, too. Also, cats tend to live longer than dogs. Well, this sounds like it might be a good article after all. purrrrr

Here is Derr's best guess for comparing cat age to human (six months for a cat is equal to 12 human years):

One year equals 18 years
Two years equal 25 years
Five years equal 35 years

(Firestar is older than 25 but less than 35
In my prime, baby
That's Bevie)

10 years equal 45 years
12 years equal 60 years
15 years equal 80 years
21 years equal 100 years

(I'm including the dog chart at Firestar's objection. Yes. I objected.)

For dogs the comparison for human years goes something like this (eight months for a dog equals 13 human years):

One year equal 16 years
Two years equal 24 years
Three years equal 28 years
Five years equal 36 years
Seven years equal 44 years
Nine years equal 52 years
11 years equal 60 years
13 years equal 68 years
15 years equal 76 years

I see no dog is likely to reach 100.
Totally makes sense. purrrr
.

Words of Wisdom

Thought I would post some words about cats from some famous historical people.

Abraham Lincoln:
No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Albert Schweitzer:
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.
Cervantes:
Those who will play with cats must expect to be scratched.
Colette:
Time spent with cats is never wasted.
Colette:
There are no ordinary cats.
Helen M. Winslow:
Women, poets, and especially artists, like cats; delicate natures only can realize their sensitive nervous systems.
Joseph Wood Krutch:
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Leonardo Da Vinci:
The smallest feline is a masterpiece.
Mark Twain:
If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

I especially like what Colette and Krutch have to say regarding cats.
.