Monday, March 2, 2009

When Humans Get Overconfident

I had to punish Bevie, Spouse, and Son. Didn't like doing it, but some things just have to be done. They were all getting out of hand.

Life has routines, and humans have to learn to stick to them. The most important routine there is is the routine where things in my house have to go the way I expect them to. Generally, this isn't a problem. Bevie and the others seem to know their places and behave accordingly.

But not this past week. This past week they have been downright unruly. Unpredictable, even!

Days are supposed to begin with Bevie getting up at some strange hour. I will get up and make sure nothing is amiss - and get my back scratched and head rubbed. purrrrrr!

When Spouse gets up I am fed. Then Son gets up and the three of them leave. Shortly after Bevie and Spouse return. Son must be in a kennel or something. After that, Spouse will leave. Sometimes in the morning and sometimes later. Bevie will watch this strange show (Last of the New Wine), which is the signal Son is soon to come home. Then Bevie leaves. Shortly after, Bevie returns with Son. Not long after that I am fed again. Spouse will come home and the three of them will have their supper. When they finish eating they watch something. I will come up and let them carress my coat. Sometimes, if I'm feeling generous, I'll even purr for them. They like that, you know.

But that's not what they've been doing! They leave and come back at strange times. The one day they left very early and didn't come back until very late. That just isn't acceptable. It disrupted my entire day. They did the same thing the next day. I thought they were back to normal the day after, but they did it again yesterday! Do you realize I have had to actually wait to get fed? So, I had to discipline them. I had to be rough.

When they returned from whatever supposed important thing they had been doing, I made sure they saw me. Then I walked away and ignored them. Later, when they were watching their shows, I really took it to them. I jumped up where all three could see me plainly. Then I sat down - back to them. Oh, they just hate that. They fawned and they pleaded. They were so distressed. Eventually, I had to be merciful. But I think they've learned their lesson now.

Sometimes you just have to use tough love.
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4 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

Son must be in a kennel or something

This cracked me up!

This whole post is brilliant!

Rufus said...

Well done, Firestar, you showed them!

I see my slave is so indoctrinated that she agrees with your discipline too.

Bevie said...

I may be in trouble again. I fell asleep around six this morning and Spouse took Son to school without me. When I got up they were gone.

Firestar was waiting at the steps for Spouse to return. When he saw me, I got "the look".

Now I don't know where he is. I maybe getting the silent treatment again.

Lisa said...

poor firestar! Have you thought of reporting them for their neglect to you. I'm sure the judge would order them to stay home and spend a day just petting, feeding and playing with you.

Music to Make the Cats go Wild

Just a love song.

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Amelia - Nickname 'Bratelia' since she gets into every draw, cabinet that she can put her paws in.
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“She’s got tuna. I know she’s got tuna.”

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“What’s the mission? I thought the mission was to get tuna.”

“No, you stupid fluffbrain—it’s to escape and become outdoor cats, walking by ourselves, on our wild lone, waving our tails.”

“Oh, yeah? And isn’t it you, my dear stripy sister Aliera, who keeps pushing the FEED button on the printer and waiting for tuna to come out?”

“That was when I was much younger. Anyway, she’s at the computer—yes, eating tuna casserole—so we can go into the bedroom and see if we can knock the window screen out.”
“You do it, Aliera. I’d rather mess with her stuff.”

“Will you GET OVER that fixation on her wristwatch?”

“I like the feel of the Velcro on my paws. Hey! That reminds me. We’ve been declawed. How are we going to survive as outdoor cats?”

“New plan coming up….”

“What’s the big deal about being outside cats? Even StalkerCat, who used to hang around and chat us up, is a house cat now and loving it. We’ve got it made—food, petting, toys, valet service for the litter box, and we get to sleep on her bed twenty hours a day. And we can stick our noses up to the window and smell anything interesting going on outside. Why ruin a perfect situation?”

“Sethra, have you no sense of adventure? No curiosity? No cattitude? We were meant to live wild and free, to stalk and slay our prey, to be mistresses of the night!”

“Look, we’re cats. We were meant to rule the world, but that doesn’t mean we have to WORK at it. You can if you want, but I don’t need to. After all, I’M beautiful!

“Did I mention she’s got tuna?”

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